Comments on: "It's Them" is the Costliest Conversation in Life and Business

By: semazza

semazza — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 18:57:13 +0000

@EricWerner Point well taken that it’s them is not just about what went wrong. “It’s up to them” as in our future is the context for complacency and unfortunately all too common especially in large organizations.

Thanks for the book recommendation. I am reading Seth Godin’s Tribes right now and it too is a wonderful book on leadership.

@tobeme I would love to here some of your personal examples and stories of acts of leadership – you can post them on the Add Your Stories tab.

@SethSimmonds It is unfortunate that some of the very people who most need to reinforce the idea of personal responsibility in the workplace unwittingly squash it’s existence.

@Henie Your comment reminded me of my favorite definition of responsibility by Gustav Mahler “Responsibility is retaining the ability to respond.”

@TomVokar Self employment certainly requires living from a context of “it’s up to me”. What advice do you have for someone with a job who wants to embrace this idea?

By: Tom Volkar / Delightful Work

Tom Volkar / Delightful Work — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 14:17:43 +0000

Being self-employed, it’s all up to me. I guess that makes the leadership path easier to see. But we do have to inspire ourselves and choose well or we end up being very poor bosses to ourselves.

By: Henie

Henie — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 10:33:30 +0000

What came up for me in this is the “Response” in the word “Responsibility.” It’s about responding rather than reacting that moves forward into the future.

The world would also do well with a little more empathy instead of “blamestorming.”

Thank you for inciting such powerful thoughts!

~Henie~

By: Seth Simonds

Seth Simonds — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 03:45:38 +0000

I think another result of the blaming game is that when an individual stands up and takes responsibility for a mistake, the tendency of superiors is to respond more harshly than they might otherwise.

Things would be simpler if we never tied our pride to projects and viewed everything with an eye for improved communication!

Thanks for a thoughtful and inspiring discussion.

Best to you!

Seth

By: tobeme

tobeme — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 19:05:33 +0000

You did a great job with this subject. The key is to take ownership of an issue/problem/opportunity. When we take ownership we create leadership. I practice random acts of leadership all day long by taking ownership of what comes my way.

By: Eric Werner

Eric Werner — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 15:55:00 +0000

It occurs to me that ‘It’s Them’ can apply not only to instances of what went wrong, but also to what didn’t go right, improvements that didn’t happen, creativity that didn’t get inspired, etc.

It reminds me of the book Free Prize Inside http://www.sethgodin.com/freeprize/

Seth Godin writes a very good description of the nature of innovation and more importantly explains how innovation is everyone’s responsibility. Rather than being something that happens in the research and development lab or only in upper management, innovation is something that each and every one of us can add to our work, community, and family lives.

He goes on to describe some of the factors that affect this in the workplace, how to start small with a cause that you can really champion, how to not expect everyone to jump at once when you have an idea but how persistent explanation of the benefits can result in real change.

By: semazza

semazza — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 13:17:33 +0000

@CCSeed Always a great question to ask yourself when stuck in “it’s them” — “what is it I see over there that reveals something I do not see in my self?” Thanks for pointing that out.

Don’t just “put” yourself in their shoes, but “see” yourself in their shoes. It can not only be eye opening, but can point to the path to transform us/them into we.

@Jay Somehow I think you are not just “trying”

@ Liara This is a really great post for anyone interested in leadership to read. Thank you for sharing it!

http://blog.dreambuilders.com.au/journal/2009/1/20/barack-obama-10-lessons-to-excel.html

By: Liara Covert

Liara Covert — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 18:20:40 +0000

Susan, you remind your readers of one of the principles Barack Obama seems to stand for and that is, taking responsibility. He inspires hope precisely because he does not deny involvement and because he chooses to be solutions-oriented. You may be interested in this post written on inauguration day;

http://blog.dreambuilders.com.au/journal/2009/1/20/barack-obama-10-lessons-to-excel.html

By: Jay

Jay — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 16:58:55 +0000

Great way to tell us to go out and take responsibility. May we all heed the call of Obama! I will try to complete your mission everyday! Thanks Susan!

By: ccseed

ccseed — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 16:13:30 +0000

It’s so easy to lay the blame for current circumstances elsewhere. Regardless of misdeeds of others or the incompetence for that matter, any time I find myself pointing my finger at someone, I given into an unproductive cycle.

I work to let each instance of that impulsive reaction to be followed immediately with this thought: what is it I see over there that reveals something I do not see in my self. (Psychological projection is always devilish…)