Comments on: 7 Ways to Earn Trust

By: Susan Mazza

Susan Mazza — Wed, 11 May 2011 01:09:44 +0000

You point to something critical when it comes to building trust Deb. When we make a promise to someone to complete a project or produce a result, being trustworthy (and accountable) isn’t just about doing what we said we would, it is about taking care of the relationship.

Having a clear set of agreements regarding what would be satisfying to both parties, for example, in the situation you shared, a timeframe for delivering, and possibly agreements regarding progress touch points, helps to create a foundation upon which trust can be built. Interestingly enough “by when” is one of the most often overlooked element of a promise and it’s absence one of the most significant contributors to breakdowns in trust.

Thanks for your comment Deb!

By: Deborah Costello

Deborah Costello — Thu, 05 May 2011 19:10:17 +0000

Thanks Susan for this thoughtful post. As someone relatively new to formal leadership, your list is important. The one thing that I learned this year in trying to get people to trust me is to provide feedback. My colleagues would ask me to do something, and I would agree to do it. I assumed that they would trust me to do it and patiently wait until I finished. Some of the items they asked me to do took weeks or even months to complete. My failure to provide periodic feedback on my progress caused them to worry that I wasn’t addressing their needs or that they would be forgotten. By providing periodic feedback in more recent months, they seem to trust me more and need fewer reassurances that their requests are on my agenda. This was a surprise to me, but I am grateful for the lesson.

Thank you for your thoughtful post.

By: Susan Mazza

Susan Mazza — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 20:08:59 +0000

Thanks for sharing your dilemma S. Here are a few things to consider.

When it comes assessing trust it is helpful to get as specific as possible. Consider your interactions with B and C independently and ask yourself these questions:

Do they believe you are sincerely committed to doing a great job? (My guess would be yes – anyone who would take the time you have to search for support and write the comment you did is clearly someone who is sincerely committed to doing great work and building great relationships. But don’t base your response to what I say or how you feel but rather how you think they perceive you.)

Do you think they trust your reliability – have you consistently kept your commitments to them? Keep in mind that not delivering as promised with a really good reason does not build trust in your reliability.

Do you think there may be some specific area of your competence they are not confident in?

If you don’t know the answer to these questions or are unsure this could identify some specific conversations you could initiate to help you understand how you are perceived and what you can do to address any gaps in their trust in you.

Have you talked with your manager about your concerns about how well you are trusted by them and others? That would be an excellent place to start.

It is also possible that you are caught in the middle of a trust issue between A and B, or either A and B and C, or your department vs. C’s department, etc.. Ask questions of those you work with to learn more about the history of the relationships But a word of caution – use these to inform you about what might be going on rather than accepting what anyone says as “the truth”.

One of the most difficult things to perceive when you work in an environment that is not your native language or culture is the context. There are many unwritten rules that govern how things are done in every organization and often we discover them when we unwittingly break them. So you have to learn to pay as much attention to the content of what you are doing as you do to the context in which you are doing them if you want to build trust in your relationships.

By: Susan Mazza

Susan Mazza — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 19:39:33 +0000

Demonstrate vs. claim is an important distinction. Thanks for adding your wisdom to the conversation here Mike.

By: Mike O'Horo

Mike O'Horo — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 15:45:38 +0000

I’ll add, “Demonstrate that your focus is on their self-interest and benefit, without regard to your own immediate benefit.” That’s “demonstrate,” not “claim.” The easiest way to do that is to ask more questions and make fewer declarations.

By: S

Fri, 18 Mar 2011 21:17:49 +0000

I wanted to get some advice on how to earn trust. I searched on the internet and I found your post. I am a Chinese person who has lived in the UK for near 6 years.
I am always on time, I honor my promises, and do my best to meet deadlines, when I can’t meet it, I would explain and agree a new deadline. I like to be prepared. I don’t gossip. I admit it when I don’t know and I ask for advice, I admit it when I have made a mistake and I will correct it and learn not to make it again. I just got a new job and I am still on probationary period. End of this month it is the end of my probationary period, I am preparing for my review and objectives.
I am working very hard. I take my job very seriously. I really enjoy what I do. There are a couple of things that worries me at the moment. It may be that I am just over sensitive but I would rather find a way of solving it than bottling it up.
My line manager A seems to be very satisfied with what I am doing, and she praises me a lot, which makes me more inspired and want to do a good job, a better job. A’s line manager is B, I could sense from the communications from B that I need to work harder to earn his trust that I can do my job, I may make mistakes but I am willing to learn and be better.
For some reason there are little things that B would double check with other line managers like I am making it up. For example, I sent him an email asking for clarification of something, I had checked with Manager C, as I work very closely with C, and it is C’s area. I was clear for most of the things but a couple of things we were not clear, so C advised me to check with B. As it is related to a very senior person and I do not want to make any mistakes, so I would rather ask than assuming things. So I asked. B then asked C if he was aware of this and if I had checked with C, to which C said yes. B also said to A that he was worried that I need more supervision, which is completely fine as I am still learning my job, and I would be very happy for any support, but I also need trust to get on with my job, and I want to do better to earn the trust.
B has been checking on a number of things, which has made me very worried. There are a couple of other occasions I had checked with C and was advised by C that I should ask B, B then said I should ask C instead of him. He would check if I had spoken to C. I am very worried as I don’t think he needed to ask C if I had checked with C. I think there is a lack of trust. I wish to improve this. I am conscious he may think I am not native English, so I may not understand what he says. I know this, although I have lived in this country for 6 years, but I am still a foreigner, I still have a lot to learn and I am willing to learn. On the other hand, I need to find a way of letting him aware that I have a MA degree and I have worked in this country for 6 years, I have observed and learnt a lot in the last 6 years the English style of communication, there is Chinese in me and some of them I can never change and I do not want to lose it, but I am willing to adapt to the English way when necessary. But how can I make him understand that? I need to find a way of earning his trust. It is not just because he is my line manager’s boss and his opinion counts, also because I want to work in a trusted environment and I want to work happily. I love my job, this seems to be a little thing, but it really bothers me. I really need some expert advice. I look forward to your reply. Thank you so much!

By: Jann Freed

Jann Freed — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 18:01:21 +0000

The one that I would add is to trust others. When you demonstrate that you trust them, they start to trust you. It is a reciprocal relationship and a critical one for leaders to develop for sure. Thanks. Jann

By: Susan Mazza

Susan Mazza — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 18:11:48 +0000

Thanks for your comment. Most certainly – the things you point to like honesty and respect are certainly fundamental to earning trust. I think ethical conduct is a great “banner” for those things.

By: Harwinder

Harwinder — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 02:29:40 +0000

Great article and the discussion following it.

How about some of the obvious things we should do to earn trust, like acting in an honest manner (don’t lie, don’t cheat), show respect to others, treat people fairly, etc. Are these points also in line with your idea of earning trust? Basically all these points fall under the umbrella of ethical conduct and I know most of your points also touch upon ethics in some way.

By: How do people earn trust online?

How do people earn trust online? — Wed, 20 May 2009 08:01:14 +0000

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