How about some of the obvious things we should do to earn trust, like acting in an honest manner (don’t lie, don’t cheat), show respect to others, treat people fairly, etc. Are these points also in line with your idea of earning trust? Basically all these points fall under the umbrella of ethical conduct and I know most of your points also touch upon ethics in some way.

While I have worked with organizations on these things for a long time there is one thing in particular that I have been reflecting on: do people really get the power they have to impact others? Because if they did I think these things would be a lot more natural.

I have watched people be judged and/or reprimanded for every one of these things (starting with Mom!). It is fair to say that the people who most need this feedback probably won’t be reading posts like this and that private interests/rights have been touted at the expense of personal responsibilty.

Yet I think what most people do not really get is how much they matter. This includes being awake to the impact they have on others for better or for worse. As leaders I think one of our jobs is to wake people to themselves and each other so they can choose to be responsible or not, as well as feel compelled to show up with the best of what they have to offer because they know it matters and they matter.

But the one that really stood out for me — the one that got me to really think about things a little differently, was #2 “Prepare”. I always thought about preparation as something one did for one’s own sake, not for others. But when you said:
“If you waste my time, how likely am I to trust you with something else that matters to me?” I got that rush of an “aha”. Brilliant. I will carry that sentence around in my pocket and until it becomes a part of me.

thank you.

If I had to condense your post into a single tweet, it would be “Listen to your Mom.” Everything you listed are the basic elements of good character that good parents have been teaching since the dawn of time. These aren’t magic solutions discovered after years of deep research; these are the foundations of civilized society.

Pat’s comment strikes a chord: “we all do things to please ourselves.” We are all born inherently selfish; children look out for themselves. When we allow children to grow to adults without this instruction, we create grown-up children who break all these rules. I hope Wally is right; the pendulum may indeed swing back. Unfortunately, these kinds of character flaws used to be corrected with a little public chastising and consternation. Now, we are so afraid of offending anyone that we just let these things go.

Sadly, the people who need this advice rarely read blogs on this kind of self-improvement.

I don’t think Trust can begin to develop without them, and it will end when they do.

While it may not sound politically correct, we all do things to please ourselves. I help others so I can feel good about myself; I don’t want my children to feel pain because it causes me pain; I say kind things to people because I want them to think kindly of me. To me this is not a bad thing. It is just important to know it and understand why I do what I do. That’s enough to keep me too busy to worry about what others are doing!