Comments on: Who is Right?

By: Boundary Check | The Otheresteem Blog

Boundary Check | The Otheresteem Blog — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 13:57:18 +0000

[...] Who is Right? (randomactsofleadership.com) [...]

By: You May Be Right. | The Otheresteem Blog

You May Be Right. | The Otheresteem Blog — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 11:59:04 +0000

[...] Who is Right? (randomactsofleadership.com) [...]

By: Susan Mazza

Susan Mazza — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 02:55:05 +0000

So true Bruce. Unless we somehow get woken up to the cost of being right we can’t even see we actually can make a choice about how to invest our energy. Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

By: Bruce Lynn

Bruce Lynn — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 14:50:11 +0000

My father was a clergyman and in his role one of the primary jobs he did regularly was couples counseling (he was trained in counseling as well). When asked what was the most prevalent problem he came across, he was very clear in his response: “Relationships break down when people invest more energy in being right than in solving problems.”

By: On the Other Side of Right

On the Other Side of Right — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:32:08 +0000

[...] a previous post titled Who is Right? I wrote about the cost of being right and the dangers of righteousness. Starting with an example [...]

By: Jennifer M.

Jennifer M. — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 07:46:02 +0000

Thanks for the great post. To answer your question about righteousness, I do think it makes a leader very vulnerable. A leader that sets up a system where everyone around him or her tells them they are right may bring good feelings, but accomplishes nothing. The important thing is not being right, but making the decision that is best. In my opinion, a good leader surrounds themselves with people that are going to stand up and question the decisions that are being made.
We all make mistakes is judgement and having people around to question those that may be wrong is a necessity to have around as opposed to those who always tell you you’re right.

By: Susan Mazza

Susan Mazza — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 16:35:38 +0000

You may some great points Zachary. Thank you for enriching the conversation.

I love your last point in particular – very well said: “To realize that I am right now, but this may not be the case next time is the difference of being right and righteous.”

I think you are also pointing to the difference between assuming you are right and choosing a point of view to inform your decisions. I also think people can easily confuse righteousness with taking a stand, thinking they are being strong and doing a good thing when they are really just alienating the people around them.

By: Zachary Vernal

Zachary Vernal — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:51:23 +0000

Greetings Susan;

I found your post via Wally Brock’s blog, and thought I might chime in.

What you saying has a lot of validity to it. Many of these large retail companies promise to want a relationship with you at the most intimate level, but in reality just desire for you to pay that extra 20 bucks for their extended warranty. After that moment, you just become a number to them. It is sad how few of the larger companies out there are willing to go that extra mile for their customers.

In regards to your comments on leadership, I would say there absolutely a fine line between those who are right and righteous. Leaders who cross over to that dark place known as righteousness forget about the people that got them to where they area. Furthermore, they begin to develop a persona that their opinion on matter is all that matters. They are right, and that’s all there is to it.

What I would suggest for those who have crossed into this dark place is to step back, and truly survey the situations.
Concluding that you are right about something is not bad a bad as long you are able to consider alternatives. To realize that I am right now, but this may not be the case next time is the different of being right and righteous

Till next time, have a good one!

By: Susan Mazza

Susan Mazza — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:26:16 +0000

Thanks for sharing about your experience Jackie. It is so easy to get triggered when we are on the receiving end of someone else’s need to be right at our expense. Being right does not usually bring out the best in people – the “giver” or the “receiver”. Ironically it happened to me the night after I put up this post. I can totally relate to the tying yourself up in knots part. I got a little testy with someone which like for you is unusual and uncomfortable for me.

While the righteousness is all “theirs” the trigger belongs entirely to us. For me I can now see something I need to work on that I had not seen quite so clearly before. I will apologize for my testiness because that keeps me in integrity with me. Like you said – it presents an opportunity to learn and grow in terms of our personal leadership.

One last thing…don’t forget to forgive yourself! Your commitment to learn from this will ensure you do things differently the next time.

By: Susan Mazza

Susan Mazza — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:11:00 +0000

Thanks for stopping by Bruce. I have so much invested in the PC platform for many years. Many people sell Mac based on how much easier it is to use. I’ve used a Mac for a while and actually found it harder for me. I grew up with the PC so it is easy for me to understand. 90% of my clients use them, too. But for me the draw now is stability and reputation for great customer service. They just lost a very loyal customer. As you say, I am probably not the only one.

Sometimes being right can run you right out of business.