“In living, there is an unliving activity required. It is undoing what needs to remain in the past. Life requires us to live anew while unliving damage. It is in this unlife/life mix we live in a better way, growing and advancing our gifts.” Jon Mertz (aka @thindifference) from Creating an Unlife Life
In his article, Three Vignetters on Unlife Life Choices, Jon Mertz provides three great examples of un-life choices we can make: unbuckle from a wrong path, unchain from past bad habits, and unpack old perspectives.
Since developing yourself as a leader begins with developing you to lead yourself first, these are great practices for anyone interested in developing themselves as a leader as well.
As he often does, Jon got me thinking: What are some of the “un-acts” of leadership that can empower us to be the most powerful expression of ourselves?
Here are a few of the “un-acts” that came to mind for me…
Un-hook from Your Expectations. The degree of frustration you experience in any situation is often a function of the gap between your expectations and reality. Focus instead on your aspirations – standing for a possibility without being attached to it will allow you to focus on “what can we/I do now” vs. fixating on what should have been or what “they” should have done.
Un-know THE Answer. Seek certainty rather than knowing. Certainty gives you and those you lead a sense of confidence in your choices while leaving you with a mind open enough to see when you need to change course. Knowing can leave you stuck in a cycle of trying to prove you are/were right even when the evidence indicates otherwise.
Un-leash Your Heart. John C. Maxwell reminds us that “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”. It can take great courage to be vulnerable enough to let people know you truly care. The industrial age business model taught the need to separate head from heart if you want to make good business decisions. I think that’s one of those things it is time to unlearn, especially if you want to succeed in a relationship economy.
What “un-acts” of leadership do you have to add?