What is the raw material from which we build our foundation for success?
I believe it is our relationships. By relationships I am referring to more than just the ones we have with others. All of our relationships begin with the one we have with ourselves.
In a sense, the people around us are a mirror that reflects back how we see ourselves. The quality of our relationship with ourselves is revealed in how others treat us and in how we treat them. It is revealed in the kinds of conversations we have with the people around us. It is also revealed in our own thoughts about ourselves and others and in the conversations we have with ourselves.
What is the primary source of our current relationships with ourselves and others?
We are who we are based on our past experiences, including both the choices and interpretations we made along the way. We also know who we know because of our particular circumstances, the ones we were born into as well as the ones born of the choices we have made thus far. So you could say that both our relationship with ourselves and with others are, by default, largely based on our past.
But what about who we will be and who we will know tomorrow?
What determines that? Is that too based on our past? The answer would likely be yes, if we have not imagined a different future than the one that is predictable.
Yet even if we imagine an exciting and compelling future, unless we truly believe it is possible for us it will not propel us forward. And in the absence of a belief in ourselves, along with a clarity of and belief in the future we want to manifest, the driver of who we become, what we achieve, who is in our life and even the quality of those relationships will, by default, be our past.
So our relationship with our future, what is possible for us, as well as the freedom we do or do not have in imagining what we really want, reveals yet another dimension of relationship essential to our success: the one we have with our future.
Do we really believe we are capable of living the life of our dreams. Do we believe we are worthy of manifesting that life?
Few would argue with the wisdom and power of envisioning your future and setting goals to make it a reality. There are countless books on the subject of visioning and goal setting. In The Magic Thinking Big, David-Schwartz makes the case for the idea that “If we can conceive it, we can achieve it.” Yet we must also choose to make real that which we conceive. And to make that choice we must BOTH believe it is possible and believe in ourselves.
The challenge then becomes making the choice to take action each and every day to manifest the future. To meet that challenge I believe we need a strong foundation of relationship with others.
We need the people who have the most influence in our lives to rally around us. We need them to remind us of who we are and what we said we wanted when we forget or lose our way. We also need people in our lives who have done what we want to do to guide us and to teach us. There is no doubt our relationships are essential to our success.
Yet do you consciously design your relationships to support you in manifesting the future you want?
It may even sound a bit strange to apply the word “design” to your relationships. However, if we believe we can design the future we want, why wouldn’t we want to design the foundation that supports us in manifesting that future?
We can work on our relationships in an attempt to improve them from how they were in the past, or to restore them to where they were before ___________ happened. Or we can mindfully consider our relationships in the context of our future. We really do get to choose.
Unless we create the future we want we are likely to create different versions of the future we already have. I believe the same is true of relationships. Like anything in life, we can let our relationships just happen or we can consciously shape them to support us in living the life we want from this moment forward.
Is your foundation strong enough for you to manifest the future you imagine?
To learn more about what it takes to Cultivate Your Inner Circle for Success e-mail susan at randomactsofleadership dot com.